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Visions for Inner Peace

                 Ways to deal with the trauma of life!

"Do not let the behaviors of others destroy your inner peace"


 

I did all of these things, for most of my life. They are best described as unhealthy coping mechanisms subconsciously designed to distract a traumatized mind. I spent years going round and round through all of these same cycles, every single one of them.

If you find it challenging to be alone, still, with nothing to do, no one to see, nothing to watch, and no phone in hand, then you are likely experiencing the same. 

Healing requires us to stop avoiding ourselves. To give ourselves the time love and attention we need to figure out who we are, what we are feeling, and what we need to do next. Yet many of us will seek that understanding from our conversations with others instead, or we will drown it out with a fierce workout or shopping binge. We likely resort to ever more distracting habits, such as substance abuse, for those of us who suffer most. 

It’s wise to reflect on how much time you actually give to yourself to just be still, introspective, and contemplative. Having a loving chat with yourself as you drive to work isn’t the same. This kind of approach would not satisfy the needs of any relationship and yet we gladly compromise time with ourselves for a variety of nonsensical and unproductive tasks. Can you imagine telling a romantic partner that you only had time for them when you were driving to work or in between meetings? They would likely dump your ass real quick, and yet we continue to convince ourselves that it’s ok to give ourselves less than what any other human being would expect from a healthy relationship with us. 

Be real with yourself. What avoidant and distracting behaviors are you using as a crutch to avoid your trauma? 

It can feel scary to down tools and sit with ourselves, especially if we have avoided our trauma for a long time. Often the fear of digging up old pain keeps us stuck in a cycle of avoidance. But let me tell you sincerely that carrying it around like an invisible weight on your back is far more exhausting. 

Make a plan of action to give yourself the time you need to refocus on yourself. 5-10 mins of quiet meditation or gentle stretching every morning followed by a loving pep talk to self. A few moments midday to check in with yourself, your feelings and state of being, and a little more time if you find yourself run ragged by a stressful situation. Time at the end of each day to unwind and debrief, to lovingly support yourself through whatever stress or challenges you faced that day. This is the absolute bare minimum you should do for yourself. Often we rely on a loved one to give us that debrief and feel lost when that support is absent. Train yourself to be your own crutch and the support of others becomes a happy bonus rather than a desperate need. 

Remember too, that all of the avoidant behaviors won’t make your pain and trauma go away. If you cut your leg, you understand that the wound has to be cleaned and cared for until it heals. You know that if you were to avoid doing that, the wound will fester and get infected and such infections can affect your entire body. Inner wounding is the same, don’t let it fester, flush it out, and trust you will be happier and healthier for it 💖





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