SELF-CARE ALL YOU NEED TO HEAR!

Relationship dynamics are the patterns of behavior that happen between people in the ways we relate, interact and communicate with each other.   One of the most common (and most frustrating) relationship dynamics we hear about is couples who regularly feel emotionally wounded by each other.  They both love each other and want to stay together. Yet, they keep hurting each other through verbal abuse, physical rejection, taking each other for granted, betraying emotional trust, or bringing up the most vulnerable topics from their partner’s past.  This is such a common phenomenon that it became the focus of the famous song by Ed Sheeran  "loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes" with this bizarre last line: “but its the only thing I know .” Huh? That’s clearly not love. When we say that I love someone, we tend to say a lot of things that don't make sense like darling I love you to the moon and back, u really can't love someone to the moon and back if taken logically b...

  " when your memory, experience, and imagination are all mixed up, then you are one big mess"    Talking about visualization as a concept of what you may know is all about imagination or u can say a movie in your mind where you are the star. It's like a reboot version of yourself that you are playing again and again in your mind to let your subconscious know that you want this change to happen.  When we often visualize being a healthy person we try to build every single detail of it, we not only build the picture but we tend to live and feel what would it be like to be there.         "Your clarity determines how  successful you will walk this life " Too much of everything is surely a toxic trait.  When you are aware of whatsoever you visualize,  you fully commend yourself to do whatsoever is necessary .  Sometimes fear inhibits us to work, and putting in the effort according to the visualization. All of us hav...

  " Beautifully Flawed means   no matter the flaw or the difference that you're still beautiful; that you're still beautiful and made in God's image. ” I used to feel like if I wasn’t maintaining 24/7 peace and joy then I was failing. I realize now that such expectations are a contradiction to the energy of acceptance and surrender. As a human being, I learn when I am doing and when I am doing it is natural, human, and necessary to make mistakes, hit roadblocks, meet conflict, and sometimes feel rotten. No one gets out alive without any of the above, that is life. The ups and downs of living are what make life beautiful. The goal is not 24/7 peace, the goal is to learn how to ride the ups and downs with grace and dignity, how to return to peace when the waves hit hard, and to lovingly accept and forgive ourselves and others as we all go about our learning. This is the path we all have in common - Flawed humans, doing our best to learn how to be better. We all learn dif...

    ONE OF THE MAJOR CAUSES OF ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION IS THE INTRUSIVE AND UNWANTED THOUGHTS.  Anxiety and worrying is a fear of the future. Such fear causes us to begin trying to control the outcome of certain events, relationships, or circumstances - we tell ourselves that for everything to be ok we must do/communicate/control XYZ so that we can be safe and protect ourselves from the possibility of a dire outcome.           Fear also inhibits us from living fully, we restrain ourselves too from taking certain actions or decisions because we have already decided the outcome ‘might’ be bad. This is the same energy that keeps us from being our authentic selves.  Be honest with yourself... how many times have you withheld your truth for fear of the repercussions? How many times have you not leaped faith because you didn’t believe you could succeed? How many times have you wrecked a great opportunity because your fear overwhelmed you?...

THE DIVINE BLESSINGS The “ divine blessing ” does it really exist…. yes, it really does exist you just have to find the connection between you and the supreme god/lord / Bhavana. You just have to believe in the supreme Bhavana and in yourself too. You have to be the master of your karma and it will follow you. When you will start feeling connected to the supreme personality wonder will happen in your life and within you. It only takes one belief and the blessing will find you. Like everyone has their own personality, appearance the blessing also differs. One person may have the connection but tend to lose his/her blessing in the material things. One doesn’t have the connection but knows how to attain it. I was one of those kids who knew about the connection and just a few believe and voila! The blessing is coming one by one… What is a blessing? It may be a person that the supreme lord sends in your life to change your miserable life into a marvelous one or it may be you your...

                                            GUILT - TRIPS As a lifelong people-pleaser, learning how to cope with guilt has been one of the hardest mountains to climb. Even though I have learned to say no, I still suffer bouts of guilt in doing so.  If we were raised in an environment where we were taught to meet people’s needs above our own we have literally been conditioned by shame. Guilt-tripping is not just a tool employed by narcissists. It is commonly associated with those suffering from anxious attachment too.  There is not a person alive who hasn’t been on the receiving end of “I can’t cope with life when you do/don’t do XYZ to/for me” or worse still “I am suicidal/sick/depressed, why are you being so mean to me?”. There are several ways that people play on our conscience to get what they want. A healthy person recognizes such coercive behaviors and steps away...

                                                  SELF -BETRAYAL   I saw this today, it got me thinking about my last post here, I think ‘self-betrayal sums it up so perfectly. We were taught to give our power away, we were taught that’s how we receive love. Changing that program starts with choosing ourselves. Giving ourselves the love we need, so our starving hearts don’t lead us to acts of self-betrayal. Learning to nourish and feed your own soul is always the answer. It reminds me too of a quote by I can’t remember who, that says something along the lines of “you think when everything works out you will be at peace, but when you’re at peace everything works out.” - I think it was OSHO.  It really is true. When you love yourself, everything works out. Our yearning for love from an external source complicates everything, as well as distorts our primal ...

      " Beneath every behaviour is a feeling. And beneath each feeling  is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focusing on the behaviour , we begin to deal with the cause, not the symtoms "   We felt crushing disappointed towards the loved ones who I perceived as having failed to meet my needs for many of us. This resentment made me so frustrated. It was directed towards not just my parents but my partners, friends, and siblings. I was convinced if only they would listen, understand me, apologized, and more importantly, change their behavior, I could finally be okay. It was exhausting work trying to get others to treat me the way I wanted, I  banged my head against that same brick for the longest time. It seemed so straightforward to me, I tried everything I knew to help these people see why their behaviors were hurtful and destructive and could not understand why they didn't see or understand and continued to, well, be themselves. The truth is, ...