INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS MAKING LIFE MISERABLE !

 

 

ONE OF THE MAJOR CAUSES OF ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION IS THE INTRUSIVE AND UNWANTED THOUGHTS. 

Anxiety and worrying is a fear of the future. Such fear causes us to begin trying to control the outcome of certain events, relationships, or circumstances - we tell ourselves that for everything to be ok we must do/communicate/control XYZ so that we can be safe and protect ourselves from the possibility of a dire outcome.       

 Fear also inhibits us from living fully, we restrain ourselves too from taking certain actions or decisions because we have already decided the outcome ‘might’ be bad. This is the same energy that keeps us from being our authentic selves.  Be honest with yourself... how many times have you withheld your truth for fear of the repercussions? How many times have you not leaped faith because you didn’t believe you could succeed? How many times have you wrecked a great opportunity because your fear overwhelmed you?

The truth is - we will never know the future until it happens, there is an infinite number of potential outcomes and in reality, we get to choose every step of the way. We can’t control all of our circumstances, we only have power over ourselves, our reactions, decisions, and responses in any given moment and anything that falls outside the boundaries of this power is simply not worth worrying about - those are the things we are challenged to accept and flow with to the best of our ability. Whatever awful shit happened to us in the past, it’s also worth remembering we SURVIVED IT, we know how to get through it next time if we have to. 

If we have experienced trauma, abuse, rejection, failure, abandonment, and suffering, the mind creates several warning signs to help protect us from similar occurrences in the future, these are more commonly referred to as triggers. A beautiful example of this is a case  I had studied where a client was under for regression therapy for a  couple of years ago - she experienced frequent and unfathomable panic attacks, she had no idea what ‘triggered’ these incidents but when she was regressed we discovered that she once experienced a vicious domestic fight in her home, the person attacking her family had been wearing a red sweater. Her subconscious mind, which operates above the rational and conscious mind, triggered the fight or flight response every time she witnessed someone wearing red who demonstrated even mildly threatening or angry behaviors and so began the anxious and panicked meltdown. 

This can help us understand how nonsensical many of our triggers sometimes are. When an intrusive or anxious thought arises, take a moment to pause - acknowledge the fear, but allow yourself time to self-soothe and reframe your reality. This might sound like ‘I’m afraid of messing up at the situation tomorrow... I understand that’s because of what happened to me before, but history does not have to repeat itself, this time I can prepare better and I’m so much more grown and capable now’ or ‘I’m afraid this person is going to ghost me....that’s because that’s happened to me so many times before and it felt rotten, but this is a new experience, it could be a positive one and I now have the tools to cope with that outcome anyway, I got through it last time. 

Becoming aware of our inner dialogue and the thoughts that run roughshod over us, perpetuating a state of fear and anxiety, is a vital component of healing. We must learn to discern between fear and reality and to give ourselves the loving reassurance we need to find peace again. More often than not, we seek that from outside of ourselves in our anxious and co-dependent states. We turn to friends, loved ones, superiors, or therapists, and whilst there is nothing wrong with getting a second or third opinion if we rely on or feel lost without the feedback of others this is a strong indicator that we do not trust ourselves and are not exerting our own power to be whole and soothe self. 

It all begins and ends with what we think and how we respond to what we think. I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll keep saying it to remind you and me - we are not that voice in our heads, we are the soul that is aware of the voice and our soul has access to many lifetimes of love and wisdom. Keep nurturing yourself by mastering the soul's voice to ensure it takes precedence over the mind - which is just a bunch of programs running on autopilot, created by the experiences of your past.