SELF-CARE ALL YOU NEED TO HEAR!

    To, the special one “You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. ”   Love. It is one of the most complicated and divine things globally, and the essence of it is spiritual love. Most people claim that they have experienced true love, even though they seldom know the real definition of it.  . They use the concept of love to justify actions like stalking, obsessing, intimidating… But, this is not loving. This is a “kind of love” that is delusional and far removed from the real thing.  .  In my point of view: It is uplifting, inspiring, and unique! . It’s when you love each other despite your quirks and flaws when you embrace each other’s imperfections instead of judging when you give each other some space for personal growth.  . It’s when you respect each other despite differences when you help each other become the best version of yourself, and when you love each other unconditi...

I saw this today, it got me thinking about the stressful events and The quote below brought a huge lump to my throat this morning, it tugged at a heart made more tender by grief and returned me to a past that was bleak and full of fear. Between the lines of this passage, I found old and broken parts of myself that are still fragile and mending. Experiencing frustrations and disappointment is a normal part of life. But, When the feelings become too overwhelming, they can contribute to resentment.  When this happens, trust and love in relationships are broken and sometimes never repaired. Sometimes resentment leads to an inability to stop thinking about the event that caused intense emotion. Recurring negative thoughts may take over and linger for long periods of time — sometimes even years. Thinking about those stressful events leads to regret and remorse with self-blame and wishing that I had acted differently.  I  Engaged with people or places that remind me of...

                                            GUILT - TRIPS As a lifelong people-pleaser, learning how to cope with guilt has been one of the hardest mountains to climb. Even though I have learned to say no, I still suffer bouts of guilt in doing so.  If we were raised in an environment where we were taught to meet people’s needs above our own we have literally been conditioned by shame. Guilt-tripping is not just a tool employed by narcissists. It is commonly associated with those suffering from anxious attachment too.  There is not a person alive who hasn’t been on the receiving end of “I can’t cope with life when you do/don’t do XYZ to/for me” or worse still “I am suicidal/sick/depressed, why are you being so mean to me?”. There are several ways that people play on our conscience to get what they want. A healthy person recognizes such coercive behaviors and steps away...

                                                  SELF -BETRAYAL   I saw this today, it got me thinking about my last post here, I think ‘self-betrayal sums it up so perfectly. We were taught to give our power away, we were taught that’s how we receive love. Changing that program starts with choosing ourselves. Giving ourselves the love we need, so our starving hearts don’t lead us to acts of self-betrayal. Learning to nourish and feed your own soul is always the answer. It reminds me too of a quote by I can’t remember who, that says something along the lines of “you think when everything works out you will be at peace, but when you’re at peace everything works out.” - I think it was OSHO.  It really is true. When you love yourself, everything works out. Our yearning for love from an external source complicates everything, as well as distorts our primal ...

                  Ways to deal with the trauma of life! "Do not let the behaviors of others destroy your inner peace"   I did all of these things, for most of my life. They are best described as unhealthy coping mechanisms subconsciously designed to distract a traumatized mind. I spent years going round and round through all of these same cycles, every single one of them. If you find it challenging to be alone, still, with nothing to do, no one to see, nothing to watch, and no phone in hand, then you are likely experiencing the same.  Healing requires us to stop avoiding ourselves. To give ourselves the time love and attention we need to figure out who we are, what we are feeling, and what we need to do next. Yet many of us will seek that understanding from our conversations with others instead, or we will drown it out with a fierce workout or shopping binge. We likely resort to ever more distracting habits, such as substance abuse,...

 SELF - LOVE , ALL YOU NEED TO HEAR ! self love    “It doesn’t mean that everyone will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It means that you won’t let them change how you perceive yourself; nor will you stick around them to destroy you...!” LOVING YOURSELF . What does loving oneself really mean? Before knowing how to love yourself, one should be familiar with the meaning of self-love. what is self-love? is it necessary? is it just pampering oneself? can I love myself? how? -and many more question comes to our mind when we hear the term self-love.   Here, is the thing that what you make of yourself reflects how others perceive your existence. So, there should be no hesitation to give yourself some quality time.  SELF - LOVE ( one of the key element to boost you're well- being) F irst,  let's try to understand what is self-love. Self-love is a combination of unconditional love and acceptance of one's true self.  F or many of u...

      " Beneath every behaviour is a feeling. And beneath each feeling  is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focusing on the behaviour , we begin to deal with the cause, not the symtoms "   We felt crushing disappointed towards the loved ones who I perceived as having failed to meet my needs for many of us. This resentment made me so frustrated. It was directed towards not just my parents but my partners, friends, and siblings. I was convinced if only they would listen, understand me, apologized, and more importantly, change their behavior, I could finally be okay. It was exhausting work trying to get others to treat me the way I wanted, I  banged my head against that same brick for the longest time. It seemed so straightforward to me, I tried everything I knew to help these people see why their behaviors were hurtful and destructive and could not understand why they didn't see or understand and continued to, well, be themselves. The truth is, ...