SELF-CARE ALL YOU NEED TO HEAR!

Relationship dynamics are the patterns of behavior that happen between people in the ways we relate, interact and communicate with each other.   One of the most common (and most frustrating) relationship dynamics we hear about is couples who regularly feel emotionally wounded by each other.  They both love each other and want to stay together. Yet, they keep hurting each other through verbal abuse, physical rejection, taking each other for granted, betraying emotional trust, or bringing up the most vulnerable topics from their partner’s past.  This is such a common phenomenon that it became the focus of the famous song by Ed Sheeran  "loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes" with this bizarre last line: “but its the only thing I know .” Huh? That’s clearly not love. When we say that I love someone, we tend to say a lot of things that don't make sense like darling I love you to the moon and back, u really can't love someone to the moon and back if taken logically b...

  " when your memory, experience, and imagination are all mixed up, then you are one big mess"    Talking about visualization as a concept of what you may know is all about imagination or u can say a movie in your mind where you are the star. It's like a reboot version of yourself that you are playing again and again in your mind to let your subconscious know that you want this change to happen.  When we often visualize being a healthy person we try to build every single detail of it, we not only build the picture but we tend to live and feel what would it be like to be there.         "Your clarity determines how  successful you will walk this life " Too much of everything is surely a toxic trait.  When you are aware of whatsoever you visualize,  you fully commend yourself to do whatsoever is necessary .  Sometimes fear inhibits us to work, and putting in the effort according to the visualization. All of us hav...

  Honestly, I feel really down recently. I just keep thinking of all the different ways I don’t live up to my potential. How much I let others down. How much my past scars hurt myself and my connections. Sometimes it’s good to remember to be gentle with ourselves. It’s also good to remember that social media isn’t real. We are all going through shit behind the scenes. It’s normal and human to be down and depressed. Social media is our brave face. Deep down we are all hurting. If you're reading this- I send you a blessing of peace of mind and comfort when you’re sad. If you have no one to tell you this in real life- know that you’re loved and the world needs you and your gifts. Everyone has a gift they bring to the world- you are no exception. Keep existing because we need you. & know- no matter what fears and worries you are currently experiencing, it never turns out as bad as your mind makes you think. There WILL be answers and there will be solutions. And remember- miracles D...

  Time is our most valuable commodity. we get the same number of hours in a day and as an adult, we get to choose how to spend it. I could pontificate on the validity of time as an actual concept (is it real?), but for the sake of this particular conversation I'm going to park the debate to another time, no pun intended. The most common excuse and I’m going to be upfront and remind you it’s always an excuse - for not taking care of ourselves is “I don’t have time”. If we are to be brutally honest with ourselves, we all waste tons of time doing stuff that is neither needed nor productive. of course, there are exceptions, such as when one works 18 hours shifts with no let-ups - but that isn't the norm. Plenty of us has regular work hours and a balanced number of external obligations with home and family.    When we avoid self-care we avoid ourselves and such a disposition is always rooted in self-loathing. When we don’t love ourselves we avoid ourselves and we perpetua...

  " Beautifully Flawed means   no matter the flaw or the difference that you're still beautiful; that you're still beautiful and made in God's image. ” I used to feel like if I wasn’t maintaining 24/7 peace and joy then I was failing. I realize now that such expectations are a contradiction to the energy of acceptance and surrender. As a human being, I learn when I am doing and when I am doing it is natural, human, and necessary to make mistakes, hit roadblocks, meet conflict, and sometimes feel rotten. No one gets out alive without any of the above, that is life. The ups and downs of living are what make life beautiful. The goal is not 24/7 peace, the goal is to learn how to ride the ups and downs with grace and dignity, how to return to peace when the waves hit hard, and to lovingly accept and forgive ourselves and others as we all go about our learning. This is the path we all have in common - Flawed humans, doing our best to learn how to be better. We all learn dif...

    ONE OF THE MAJOR CAUSES OF ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION IS THE INTRUSIVE AND UNWANTED THOUGHTS.  Anxiety and worrying is a fear of the future. Such fear causes us to begin trying to control the outcome of certain events, relationships, or circumstances - we tell ourselves that for everything to be ok we must do/communicate/control XYZ so that we can be safe and protect ourselves from the possibility of a dire outcome.           Fear also inhibits us from living fully, we restrain ourselves too from taking certain actions or decisions because we have already decided the outcome ‘might’ be bad. This is the same energy that keeps us from being our authentic selves.  Be honest with yourself... how many times have you withheld your truth for fear of the repercussions? How many times have you not leaped faith because you didn’t believe you could succeed? How many times have you wrecked a great opportunity because your fear overwhelmed you?...

THE DIVINE BLESSINGS The “ divine blessing ” does it really exist…. yes, it really does exist you just have to find the connection between you and the supreme god/lord / Bhavana. You just have to believe in the supreme Bhavana and in yourself too. You have to be the master of your karma and it will follow you. When you will start feeling connected to the supreme personality wonder will happen in your life and within you. It only takes one belief and the blessing will find you. Like everyone has their own personality, appearance the blessing also differs. One person may have the connection but tend to lose his/her blessing in the material things. One doesn’t have the connection but knows how to attain it. I was one of those kids who knew about the connection and just a few believe and voila! The blessing is coming one by one… What is a blessing? It may be a person that the supreme lord sends in your life to change your miserable life into a marvelous one or it may be you your...

    To, the special one “You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. ”   Love. It is one of the most complicated and divine things globally, and the essence of it is spiritual love. Most people claim that they have experienced true love, even though they seldom know the real definition of it.  . They use the concept of love to justify actions like stalking, obsessing, intimidating… But, this is not loving. This is a “kind of love” that is delusional and far removed from the real thing.  .  In my point of view: It is uplifting, inspiring, and unique! . It’s when you love each other despite your quirks and flaws when you embrace each other’s imperfections instead of judging when you give each other some space for personal growth.  . It’s when you respect each other despite differences when you help each other become the best version of yourself, and when you love each other unconditi...

I saw this today, it got me thinking about the stressful events and The quote below brought a huge lump to my throat this morning, it tugged at a heart made more tender by grief and returned me to a past that was bleak and full of fear. Between the lines of this passage, I found old and broken parts of myself that are still fragile and mending. Experiencing frustrations and disappointment is a normal part of life. But, When the feelings become too overwhelming, they can contribute to resentment.  When this happens, trust and love in relationships are broken and sometimes never repaired. Sometimes resentment leads to an inability to stop thinking about the event that caused intense emotion. Recurring negative thoughts may take over and linger for long periods of time — sometimes even years. Thinking about those stressful events leads to regret and remorse with self-blame and wishing that I had acted differently.  I  Engaged with people or places that remind me of...

                                            GUILT - TRIPS As a lifelong people-pleaser, learning how to cope with guilt has been one of the hardest mountains to climb. Even though I have learned to say no, I still suffer bouts of guilt in doing so.  If we were raised in an environment where we were taught to meet people’s needs above our own we have literally been conditioned by shame. Guilt-tripping is not just a tool employed by narcissists. It is commonly associated with those suffering from anxious attachment too.  There is not a person alive who hasn’t been on the receiving end of “I can’t cope with life when you do/don’t do XYZ to/for me” or worse still “I am suicidal/sick/depressed, why are you being so mean to me?”. There are several ways that people play on our conscience to get what they want. A healthy person recognizes such coercive behaviors and steps away...

                                                  SELF -BETRAYAL   I saw this today, it got me thinking about my last post here, I think ‘self-betrayal sums it up so perfectly. We were taught to give our power away, we were taught that’s how we receive love. Changing that program starts with choosing ourselves. Giving ourselves the love we need, so our starving hearts don’t lead us to acts of self-betrayal. Learning to nourish and feed your own soul is always the answer. It reminds me too of a quote by I can’t remember who, that says something along the lines of “you think when everything works out you will be at peace, but when you’re at peace everything works out.” - I think it was OSHO.  It really is true. When you love yourself, everything works out. Our yearning for love from an external source complicates everything, as well as distorts our primal ...

                  Ways to deal with the trauma of life! "Do not let the behaviors of others destroy your inner peace"   I did all of these things, for most of my life. They are best described as unhealthy coping mechanisms subconsciously designed to distract a traumatized mind. I spent years going round and round through all of these same cycles, every single one of them. If you find it challenging to be alone, still, with nothing to do, no one to see, nothing to watch, and no phone in hand, then you are likely experiencing the same.  Healing requires us to stop avoiding ourselves. To give ourselves the time love and attention we need to figure out who we are, what we are feeling, and what we need to do next. Yet many of us will seek that understanding from our conversations with others instead, or we will drown it out with a fierce workout or shopping binge. We likely resort to ever more distracting habits, such as substance abuse,...

 SELF - LOVE , ALL YOU NEED TO HEAR ! self love    “It doesn’t mean that everyone will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It means that you won’t let them change how you perceive yourself; nor will you stick around them to destroy you...!” LOVING YOURSELF . What does loving oneself really mean? Before knowing how to love yourself, one should be familiar with the meaning of self-love. what is self-love? is it necessary? is it just pampering oneself? can I love myself? how? -and many more question comes to our mind when we hear the term self-love.   Here, is the thing that what you make of yourself reflects how others perceive your existence. So, there should be no hesitation to give yourself some quality time.  SELF - LOVE ( one of the key element to boost you're well- being) F irst,  let's try to understand what is self-love. Self-love is a combination of unconditional love and acceptance of one's true self.  F or many of u...

      " Beneath every behaviour is a feeling. And beneath each feeling  is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focusing on the behaviour , we begin to deal with the cause, not the symtoms "   We felt crushing disappointed towards the loved ones who I perceived as having failed to meet my needs for many of us. This resentment made me so frustrated. It was directed towards not just my parents but my partners, friends, and siblings. I was convinced if only they would listen, understand me, apologized, and more importantly, change their behavior, I could finally be okay. It was exhausting work trying to get others to treat me the way I wanted, I  banged my head against that same brick for the longest time. It seemed so straightforward to me, I tried everything I knew to help these people see why their behaviors were hurtful and destructive and could not understand why they didn't see or understand and continued to, well, be themselves. The truth is, ...